


don't look back now

by astarisms



Series: natan week [6]
Category: Satan and Me (Webcomic)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Pregnancy, Prompt Fic, future/past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-30
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2019-01-26 21:54:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12567028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astarisms/pseuds/astarisms
Summary: for natan week day 6: there's no place for the past in their future.





	don't look back now

“What are you doing out here?” 

If the sleepy drawl from behind him didn’t bring him back to reality, the cool hands wrapping around his middle sure did, her icy fingertips shocking the life back into him.

“Jesus, kid. Put some gloves on or invest in some hot hands,” he said, craning his neck to look back at her form pressed solidly against his back. He felt her lips curve against his skin.

“Why would I do something silly like that when I have my own space heater right here?” He snorted, straightening out again.

“I should start charging.”

It was Natalie’s turn to laugh, drowsy though it was, and she rested her chin against him to look up at the back of his head.

“You can’t keep calling me kid when we’re about to have one, y’know. Save some nicknames for the little one.”

“Don’t worry, I still have plenty in reserve for it,” he said, then abruptly yanked away from her with a growl when she pinched the skin at his side. “What the fuck was that for?”

“Our baby is not an  _ it _ ,” she protested, though the mirth in her eyes belied her indignance. At his eye roll, she lifted her hands, mimicking claws with her fingers.

“What would you prefer I call it—” at Natalie’s glare, he changed gears, “—that thing—” slitted green eyes penetrated him, and he bared his teeth in mild annoyance, “—our  _ child _ ?”

“You could say  _ that _ .”

“Or not.”

“You’re a real piece of work, Lucifer.” Though the words were cutting, there was nothing short of tired humor in her voice. He made another indifferent sound, and she stepped closer to him again, nestling herself against his chest.

His arms came up around her automatically, and she smiled.

“You never answered my question.”

“What question?”

“What are you doing out here?”

“Nothing.”

Natalie hummed, unconvinced, and waited expectantly. Lucifer rolled his eyes, knowing he’d never get any peace if he didn’t give her an answer that satisfied her.

“I was just… thinking.”

“About?”

“Does it really matter?” Natalie was silent for a moment, and if Lucifer didn’t know better he would have thought she’d fallen back to asleep.

“Ah,” was all she said after her long pause, and he felt his frustration spike. That was her knowing  _ ah _ . No matter what he did, she had always been able to read him, even when he thought he was unreadable.

They had been together for years and it never failed to unnerve him, how good she was at it.

“Lucifer…”

“Don’t.”

“What? This is completely unrelated, I swear.” She reached up, drawing her fingers in a quick cross over his heart, and he growled, snatching her hand away from him.

“You can’t cross  _ my _ heart for  _ your _ swear,” he snapped, and she giggled, but otherwise ignored him. Instead, she threaded her fingers through his and pulled them close to her, pressing her lips against his knuckles.

“It’s no good to keep thinking about the past, you know.”

“I wasn’t—”

“Because doing that gives you like, nightmares and stuff. Stresses you out.”

“I’m not—”

“Which is  _ why _ ,” he felt her lips curve against his fingers and his words caught in his throat, “I’ve decided not to anymore.”

“I—” he paused suddenly, his brows drawing down over his eyes. “...What?”

“Think about the past. I decided not to do it, unless it’s for the good memories. There’s no use in going over old mistakes. I can’t change them, right? And everything turned out well enough.”

He was silent for a long time, and Natalie tucked her head beneath his chin, closing her eyes. She made a good point. Rare for Natalie, and rarer still that she didn’t use his vulnerability as a chance to tease him.

She was often better at reading his moods than he was, and more than he gave her credit for.

But as good of a point as she raised, it was hard to forget. She had amassed significantly less mistakes than he had in his long life, and none close to the level of his own. His sins had cost lives. They had cost him everyone and everything.

They haunted him and no matter how much he tried, he couldn’t shake them.

“And,” Natalie said, so softly that he felt the word exhaled against his collarbone more than heard it, “who’s to say if I hadn’t made the mistakes I did, I would be here, now? If you ask me, I would rather face all my regrets head on than be anywhere else.”

Lucifer tensed at the admission, always surprised at the depth of her love for him and his for her. He had never thought he was even capable of it, but Natalie had a way of consistently proving him wrong.

He was suddenly acutely aware of the ring on his finger, of the warmth of her pressed against him, of the subtle swell of her stomach.

Finally, he relaxed. She knew who and what he was, and she loved him and made a life with him anyways. A life he had never considered for himself but one he found himself enjoying nonetheless.

Because he had her. And she was right. There was too much for him to live for now, and he couldn’t keep looking back when there was so much left ahead of them.

He dipped his head, to brush a kiss against her hair, and he felt her lips curve into a smile against his skin before she pulled back from him.

“Let’s go back to bed.”


End file.
